Hollywood is to Blame

I blame Hollywood for my false view on romance. My favorite movies are so unrealistic but yet so romantic. I strive for a Hollywood Rom Com romance; but let’s be honest, ain’t no one gonna do that in real life.

I am a hopeless romantic in hiding. I act tough and like nothing bothers me but oh my god I am the biggest pile of mush. I believe in grand gestures like standing outside your house in the pouring rain, and leaving flowers on your car with a note. I am a sucker for the Romantic Comedy movie ending, but that’s not real at all. People don’t chase after a taxi on a motorcycle to express their love for you right before you are about to move to a different state (How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days), or show up at your house and climb the fire escape because it was your favorite part of a movie (Pretty Woman). It’s just not real life, but hey, a girl can dream.

Movies don’t show the reality of relationships. The time, and effort that goes into a strong relationship aren’t shown. Real relationships aren’t perfect. I have yet to come across a couple who hasn’t faced struggle of some sort. And I have also yet to come across young lovers who know everything there is to know. We are supposed to make mistakes and learn from them. I’ve made plenty. I have gained wisdom from my poor choices and I have learned valuable lessons along the way. But sometimes we need guidance, and that’s where friends and family come swooping to the rescue. No one has gone through the exact same experience from you, so advice from others is beneficial.

I asked friends to share with me some of the best advice they have gotten about relationships. Some I heard before, and others were brand new to me.

“When they show their true colors, walk away the first time”

This is something I need to learn to do. I am a sucker for second chances. I give them out often, more often than I would like to admit. I believe that people can change, with time and self-growth. But in reality, “a leopard can’t change their spots”. The first time they show you their true colors, don’t hang around with an empty promise of change. Walk away before it becomes a vicious cycle you can’t get out of.

“Actions speak louder than words”

This goes along with the true colors advice. Someone can tell you a million times that they are going to do something and change their ways. But if they aren’t taking the physical steps in order to do so, then it is never going to happen. Mistakes don’t happen more than once, if it does it is no longer a mistake.

“Be yourself, never change for someone”

This is something I think I have conquered in life. I don’t believe in changing the way you are. If someone loves you they will love all of you, even your insecurities.

“Failed relationships are lessons learned”

The people you have been in relationships with help you learn what you like and what you don’t like for your next relationship. You learn about yourself and the world, helping you make better decisions for your future.

“Communication is key”

This is something everyone needs to hear. If you can not communicate properly with your significant other, how will you ever grow?

“Express your feelings”

This goes along with communication, but expressions of feelings is scary. At least for me. Hiding feelings is something I do often I’m not proud of it but I am guilty. I can communicate with just about anything, but my feelings are something I keep hidden. Especially if I don’t know the outcome of expressing them. It’s terrifying to let someone into your heart and mind, especially if you’ve been hurt in the past. But you will never truly know the outcome of a situation if you don’t express how you are feeling. Clearly this is something I need to work on, and I am slowly trying to get better at it.

“Give them space”

When I’m mad, or in a bad mood. I need time to cool down. Usually only a few minutes, but sometimes it can be longer than that (depending why I am mad). I have a short temper sometimes (I get it from my pops) and I need time to cool off before I can be rational. If your partner is like me, give them the space they need. It will make everything so much better

“Love is a garden”

Love is like a flower, and in order to grow and blossom, flowers need to be taken care of. Watered every day, and given sunlight. A relationship is the same. You need to take care of your person, and in return they need to take care of you. Your mind, body, and soul are crucial and need someone who will care for you.

“Treat those you care for like it’s your last day on Earth”

Nothing in life is guaranteed. The person you care for can be gone in a blink of an eye. Wake up every day and start a new page in your book. Fall in love with your partner all over again. Never go to bed upset with them. Work out the arguments, and apologize when you are in the wrong. Don’t take time for granted, because you could wake up the next day and everything could change.

“Never go to bed upset”

Ugh this one hits home. I HATE going to bed upset at my significant other it’s the absolute worst. I can’t sleep, and I toss and turn all night (makes for a cranky B the next day). If you take anything from this post, take this. Fix the problem before you fall asleep, you will sleep better and you won’t have to waste time the next morning being angry.

Until the man of my dreams falls into my life, the only men in my heart are my baby boy and my dad.

Like the wise Frenchie from Grease once said.

“The only man a girl can depend on is her daddy”